Cannae Complain

Vikki is a Community Learning and Development worker for Aberdeenshire Council. She is a mum of three kids and a rescue greyhound and lives and works in Aberdeenshire. This is her story.

Cannae complain about working from home. My office chair, stolen in a mad

supermarket sweep raid before lockdown, is only one big wheely push away from the

fridge although as time expands along with my waistline, the chairs squeaks of

resistance are getting louder.

Cannae complain about homeschooling. Children are with us, safe. I can dip into their

world of school. Nosy around their study lives rather than clamber the homework

iceberg tip. We have laptops and internet, many don’t. We are lucky. I know they are

working hard. They know they are keeping up with work, which is so important. I tell

them how proud I am. They don’t know that I am working even harder to keep up, I

don’t tell them that.

Cannae complain about my daughter being on the shielding list. Our whole family

shielding. It gives me a rule, a reason, legit consent to lock up my most precious. To

positively dive headfirst into mummykins protect mode using my invisible cape of

love, wrapping them up and keeping them safe. We faced this pandemic head on,

confident of fine-tuned survival skills from living with life-limiting illness of a child, an

unrelenting resilience at our core. We hadn't got this far to get knocked down. We

were lucky to stay in.

Cannae complain about the dip in our mental health. It’s a big dip. It’s been an

almighty big dipper of a rollercoaster without the fun. We have plummeted big time,

many times. Eight months of five people in one house... and the dog. But we have

each other; some people are alone. It has made us verbalise our self-care needs.

Express our love. Articulate our feelings. Ask for help. It doesn’t always feel it, but we

are stronger, robust, and more connected from orienteering this pandemic path

thrust upon us.

Cannae complain about not going to a shop. I haven’t set foot in a shop since the 2nd

March 2020. It feels empowering, no more random wanders round a supermarket

looking for inspiration when you’re hungry, ending up with bags of things you don’t

need. Gluttony. We became aware of what we really needed. We overcome our

shame and disgust at the amount of money spent on food. We spent on food. We

now eat better. We eat what we have and save our money. Fortnightly Asda

deliveries are a mammoth feat of project management. PPE to the hilt, everything

needing wiped and cleaned before entering the house, fridge, cupboards. We are

lucky, we have food and we are staying safe. Many don’t.

Cannae complain about not having a holiday. We have tents so holidayed in our

garden, many many times. Campfires, marshmallows, songs and games. Three

children having fun with their oldies, not a piece of technology in sight and proper

toilets! Bonding, growing and enjoying each other’s company. Time to tell stories,

pass on family tales and make new memories.

Cannae complain and will not complain, but endeavour to see the positive that has

come from this indescribable tragedy which rocked the absolute foundations of my

family life, because we are still standing strong